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- 泡妞英语
转自岳阳楼记 jesus2004 泡妞英语 BmC
MM是要靠“哄”的，喜欢听一些甜言蜜语（sweat talk）,所以，你要下功夫练就一张honey mouth，来赞美对方： BmC
1) What a knock-out!哇！绝代美人。
- 英语聊天室“泡妞”---第一次亲密接触
BmC
（打招呼/问好）
1. What a long sleepless night! I thought I was the only sleepless. So are you!BmC
长夜漫漫无心睡眠，我以为只有我睡不着觉，原来你也睡不着啊！BmC
2. This is my first time to be in the chat room. Will you please join me? BmC
这是我第一次来这个聊天室，可以和你聊聊吗？BmC
3. May I join in? I’m easy to get along.BmC
我可不可以参加进来聊天？我很容易相处。BmC
4. You have a very special name. I think you must be a unique girl.BmC
你的名字很特别，有趣，你一定是位特别（注：不用“美丽”字样）的姑娘。BmC
5. I am as humorous as Zhou Xingchi and as handsome as Zhou Runfa. It will be a great fun to be with me.BmC
我是个幽默如周星驰、潇洒如周润发的人，和我相处会很愉快的。
- 英语聊天室“泡妞”--（上）
第一法 人称“玉树临风”的周奔驰BmC
不可否认我长得很丑（自取网名）BmC
进入英语聊天室的第一步是为自己起个“酷毙”的网名。“不可否认我长得很丑，可是我很温柔，而且永远不会说谎。”——周奔驰自知自己的英语“很丑”，于是没敢象在中文聊天室一样起个“周润发的微笑”、“风靡万千少女”、“西门不吹雪”、“心比刀快”那样的名字，而是起了“我是英语乞丐”、“不惹你烦”、“谦虚小朋友”这样的“中文网名”（中文网名更容易吸引“晶晶姑娘”的眼球）。此后就象“可口可乐”商标一样，固定地将“我是英语乞丐”作为商标品牌。——以便大赚特赚和他聊过天的美眉的“回头率”。
“普遍撒网，守株待兔”（和谁聊天）BmC
第一次上英文聊天室，周奔驰满以为凭着自己“酷毙”的网名就会“风靡万千少女”，没想到枯等了8分零8秒，还是没人哪只“兔子”主动撞上门来，于是以“大无畏”精神主动出击、普遍撒网，先后给网名是“晶晶”、“紫霞”、“曼玉”、“不辣妹”、“rose”、“sweet girl”六位看上去象是美眉（概率：73.2984%）的聊友发去“情真真意切切”的“第一句”（参见下页）。好了，剩下的就是“守株待兔”了。BmC
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈（周奔驰的大笑）
BmC
BmC
第二法 第一次亲密接触BmC
（打招呼/问好）
1. What a long sleepless night! I thought I was the only sleepless. So are you!BmC
长夜漫漫无心睡眠，我以为只有我睡不着觉，原来你也睡不着啊！BmC
2. This is my first time to be in the chat room. Will you please join me? BmC
这是我第一次来这个聊天室，可以和你聊聊吗？BmC
3. May I join in? I’m easy to get along.BmC
我可不可以参加进来聊天？我很容易相处。BmC
4. You have a very special name. I think you must be a unique girl.BmC
你的名字很特别，有趣，你一定是位特别（注：不用“美丽”字样）的姑娘。BmC
5. I am as humorous as Zhou Xingchi and as handsome as Zhou Runfa. It will be a great fun to be with me.BmC
我是个幽默如周星驰、潇洒如周润发的人，和我相处会很愉快的。
BmC
BmC
第三法 俺们那疙瘩都是东北人BmC
（自我介绍城市）
1. Where are you from? BmC
你来自哪里？BmC
2. Which city do you live in BmC
你现在住在那个城市？BmC
3. I live in Beijing, and you? BmC
我在北京，你呢？BmC
4. Where is your hometown BmC
你的家乡是哪呀？BmC
5. Great! We are from the same city! To cite a famous Chinese saying, when one meets one’s town fellow, one cannot help weeping for excitement. Haha~~~~BmC
~~~~~~~~ 太好了！我们是老乡！！用中国话来说“老乡见老乡，两眼泪汪汪”，哈哈。
BmC
BmC
第四法 我是博士--“茶博士”也BmC
（学校）
1. Can you tell us a bit about your university and your major? BmC
谈谈你毕业的学校和专业怎么样？BmC
2. Are you an undergraduate or a postgraduate? BmC
你在学习本科学历还是硕士学历？BmC
3. Have you heard the saying that "Nowadays bachelor holders are as many as dogs, Master holders are all over the street".BmC
你听说过一句话：“本科多如狗，硕士满街走”吗？BmC
4. Never mind. I’m kidding. But I have a doctorate degree.BmC
这只是一句玩笑，别介意。我是一位博士生。BmC
5. In fact I am a Doctor of Tea. Haha~~~~~BmC
实际上我只是一个“茶博士”。哈哈
BmC
BmC
第五法 “轻舞飞扬”：干啥的BmC
（性别、工作）
1. Shall we chat more intimately? To me, you are not an ordinary girl.BmC
我们能更亲密得聊聊吗？我认为你不仅仅是一个女孩！BmC
2. You are the queen. Haha~~~~~~~~~~~~BmC
而是一位女皇，哈哈。BmC
3. I am 23.You must be younger than me! BmC
我23岁了，你一定比我小吧。BmC
4. May I know your occupation?BmC
你的职业是什么？BmC
5. I am a salesman. I work like a cow: Make much milk for a company, but eat only a little grass. BmC
我是一名销售员，像牛一样"光挤奶、不吃草"。
BmC
BmC
第六法 给点儿专业精神好不好BmC
（英语学习）
1. I wish I can get used to speaking in English. BmC
我希望自己习惯于说英语。 BmC
2. I can't hold on studying without someone's encouragement. BmC
没有人帮忙，我就坚持不住了。 BmC
3. I am working on it. I hope some day speaking English would just be a piece of cake for me. BmC
我正在致力于它,有一天它会是小菜一碟。 BmC
4. I’m trying to improve my English through chatting online in English. BmC
我正通过网上聊天来提高我的英语。 BmC
5. We’ve got lots of time to improve/practice our English. BmC
我们有很多时间来提高/练习我们的英语。
BmC
BmC
第七法 无厘头英语：不要再犹豫了BmC
1. I found an interesting and practical way of learning English. That is Wulitou (Casual) way. BmC
我发现了一个即有趣又有用的方法来学习英语，那就是"无厘头英语"。 BmC
2. Wulitou (Casual) way makes English learning as interesting as playing a game. BmC
无厘头精神使学习英语变的像游戏轻松有趣。 BmC
3. The initiators of Wulitou way are fans of Dahuaxiyou (Talking About Western Odyssey). They include journalists and foreign teachers. They share a common name Zhou Benchi. BmC
无厘头英语的创立者是一群《大话西游》迷，包括记者、外教，他们共同享有一个名字"周奔驰"。 BmC
4. Believe it or not, by reading this book, you will be able to chat online in English very soon. BmC
信不信由你，只要翻开这本书，就能立刻在网上用英语自由聊天。 BmC
5. It’s called practice while learning. BmC
这叫做现学现用。BmC
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第八法 哈哈，觉不觉得好玩啊BmC
（玩笑）
1. What is the English for癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉? BmC
你知道"癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉"怎么说吗？ BmC
2. It's not "A toad wants to eat a swan". It is "Angels fly out of your arse".BmC
不是"A toad wants to eat a swan"而是"Angels fly out of your arse"。 BmC
3. Literally it means "屁股（arse）里飞出天使(angels)来". It's very interesting, isn't it? BmC
如果直译成中文是"屁股（arse）里飞出天使(angels)来"的意思。很有意思，对吗？ BmC
4. Don't be oversensitive. I’m just kidding. BmC
别这么爱过敏，开个玩笑么。 BmC
5. That sentence comes from Titanic. The original sentence is “You’d as like have angels fly out of your arse as get next to the likes of her.” BmC
这句话的原话来自于《泰坦尼克号》，全句是：“You’d as like have angels fly out of your arse as get next to the likes of her.” （想和她那样的姑娘在一起，你简直是“癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉”。）
BmC
BmC
第九法 帮主，品味太差吧BmC
（休闲/爱好）
1. What do you do in your spare time? BmC
不忙的时候你做些什么？ BmC
2. What's you favorite sport? BmC
你喜欢哪项运动 BmC
3.Good health is priceless. BmC
好身体是无价之宝。 BmC
4. What's your favorite movie? BmC
你最喜欢的电影是什么？ BmC
5. 5 Smoking affects one’s health. But, to me, bad habits are difficult to get rid of. BmC
吸烟影响健康，但对我来说，坏的习惯很难更改。
- 英语聊天室“泡妞”---（下）
2) She's well-built.她身材真棒。
3) She's well stacked,她的身材很匀称。
4) She has a good figure.她有骄人的身材。
5) She's a chick.她可是个MM喔。
6) She's curvaceous.她的身材曲线玲珑。
7) My girl is a peach.我的马子可是个美人。
8) She must really be sth special.她必定某个地方很特殊。
9) She doesn't look her age.她看起来没有实际年龄大。
10)She looks neat and fresh.她看起来很优雅清纯。
11)She's a carbon copy of her mother.她和她妈简直一模一样。
(to be continued)怎样，找机会练练吧！关键是告诉她你觉得她与众不同的地方BmC
（whatmakes her stand out from others）,接下来，你就可以锻炼口语的名义，BmC
表示希望能有机会多聊聊（a chance to get to know each others）.要知道好的开端，BmC
事情就成功了一半（well began is half done）.^_^幸福三步曲：
假设：漂亮MM一般英语水平都不是很好（好像功课也是如此）^-^前提：你自己的英文水平初具火候。
1）吸引MM跟你学地道英语的兴趣
2）然后告诉她万丈高楼平地起，咱们从最基本的学起。
3）最基本的自然是自我介绍了，然后以教她如何用英语作自我介绍为名，BmC
很自然地“套取”她的家庭背景，个人情况等等。注意，这时你要装作特单纯、BmC
特有爱心，让她觉得这世界确实需要热心肠，而你就是那跟最大的肠！BmC
千万不要让她怀疑你“醉翁之意不在酒”(hehehe~~,这招比较损)接下来就不用我多说了吧，BmC
万事只是开头难，你都已经“知己知彼”了，还能不百战不殆？
Well, it's kidding.The best way is to love her with your heart,not with yourBmC
mouth. What's more, just keep in your mind:1) Love me,love my dog.2) Love meBmC
little, love me long.
OK,让我们继续为消灭“孤男寡女”而努力学习吧：
1）This picutre is not like her.这照片不像她。
2) She's very photogenic.她很上镜。
BmC
3) She's well-groomed.她穿着得体。
4) She could pass for 24 or 25.她可能超过24或25岁。
5) She gets herself dolled up like a teenage girl.她把自己打扮得象个十几岁的少女。
6) She's kind of short, but she has a beautiful personality.她是有点矮，可是她有很好的个性。
7) She's in her Sunday clothes today.她穿了她最好的衣服。
8) She wears too much make-up.她妆化得很浓。
第十法 爱一个人需要理由吗？BmC（感情）
1. Would you mind if I ask you a personal question? Are you still single?BmC
介意我问一个私人问题吗？你是单身吗？ BmC
2. Have you got a Flower Guardian, someone who cares for you? You are just like a beautiful flower in my mind. BmC
你有护花使者了吗？ 因为在我心目中你就像花一样。 BmC
3. I like a line from Titanic very much: You jump, and I will jump. BmC
我喜欢电影《泰坦尼克》上的一句精彩对白：你跳我也跳。 BmC
4. Another line I like very much is from Inside Detective 008: Are you hungry? Shall I make a bowl of noodle for you? BmC
另一句我喜欢的电影对白是《大内密探008》里的： 肚子饿不饿，要不要我给你煮碗面吃？ BmC
5. The favorite scene I like is in a novel by Lu Yao. In the remote country, a boy fell in love with a girl. He handed her a piece of paper with only one line on it which read I Want To Be Good With You.BmC
但是我最喜欢的是路遥小说里的一个场景：在一个僻远的乡村，一个小伙子喜欢上一个姑娘，他给他写了一个小纸条，上面只有一句话：“俺想和你好”。
BmC
BmC
第十一法 对你的敬仰犹如滔滔江水BmC
（赞美）
1. I don’t think you are as pretty as Zhang Manyu. BmC
我感觉你长得不如张曼玉漂亮。 BmC
2. But you are more beautiful than Zhang Ziyi. BmC
但至少不比张子怡差。 BmC
3. Nothing is more pleasant than talking with you. BmC
什么娱乐都不如和你聊天。 BmC
4． You are such a smart girl. BmC
你真是个伶牙俐齿（聪明）的姑娘。 BmC
5．My passion for you is beyond any words. BmC
我对你的仰慕犹如滔滔江水
BmC
BmC
第十二法 我KAO，I 服了YOUBmC
（情绪化表达）
肯定（搞对） BmC
certainly/sure/of course.当然。 BmC
Great! 太好了。 BmC
All right. 好吧！ BmC
No problem. 没问题！ BmC
Good idea! 好主意！ BmC
I think so. 我也这么想。 BmC
I totally agree with you. 我完全同意。 否定 BmC
No！/ No way! 不行/没门！ BmC
I don't think so.我不那样认为。 BmC
I disagree. 我不同意。 BmC
愤怒 BmC
How dare you! 怎么敢…… BmC
疑问： BmC
Are you sure? 你确定吗？ BmC
Why are you so sure about that? 你为什么这么确定？ BmC
Really? 真的吗？ BmC
Of course, it’s true.当然是真的。 BmC
惊叹 BmC
Gosh! / God！/My God! / Goodness me! / Jesus Christ! 天哪！ BmC
It’s terrific. It’s incredible. 太好了，简直难以置信。 BmC
It’s incredible. 难以置信。 BmC
I can’t believe my own eyes! 我简直不敢相信我的眼睛了。 BmC
感谢 BmC
Thanks./ Thanks a lot. 谢谢。 BmC
Thank you very much. 多谢你。 BmC
I’m profoundly grateful to you. 我向你表示深深的感激。 BmC
谦虚 BmC
My pleasure. / You are welcome. 不必客气. BmC
Don’t mention it. 小意思（一般般） BmC
随意 BmC
Be at home. / Do as you please. 随便。 BmC
It’s up to you. 看你了。
BmC
BmC
第十三法 需要吗？不需要吗？需要吗？BmC
（双向交流/碰撞）
1. I beg your pardon. / I didn't quite catch you on that. BmC
我没有听懂你刚才说的话。 BmC
2. Do you understand this sentence? / Are you following me? / Are you with me? BmC
你是否明白这个句子？ BmC
3. I feel the same. / I think exactly the same way. BmC
我也这么想。 BmC
4. Me too. BmC
我也是。 BmC
5. Anyway, believe me. I am serious. BmC
不管怎样，请相信我，我是认真的。
BmC
BmC
第十四法 如果给我一个再来一次的机会BmC
（打招呼）
1. Sorry. I’m busy at the moment. I’ll talk to you later. BmC
对不起，我现在很忙，有时间再和你聊。 BmC
2. Sorry. I’m speaking with a friend at the moment. I will talk to you later. BmC
抱歉，我的朋友在和我聊，有空了我再去找你。 BmC
3. Forgive me. I sent you a wrong message. Hope you don’t mind. BmC
对不起，我发错了信息。别介意。 BmC
4. I’m sorry for being so slow. You know my English is not good. BmC
抱歉，我的速度比较慢，因为我的英语很差。 BmC
5. Excuse me for about 5 minutes? BmC
对不起，我要暂时离开一下，大约是5分钟时间。
BmC
BmC
第十五法 留下点回忆行不行？BmC
（邮件、照片）
1. How can I contact you? BmC
我怎么和你联系？ BmC
2. Can you tell me your telephone number/Email address? BmC
可以告诉我你的电话/信箱吗？ BmC
3. Why don't we further contact each other by telephone/Email? BmC
我们为什么不通过电话/EMAIL进行更深一步的交流呢？ BmC
4. Would you mind showing me your photo? BmC
是否可以让我看看你照片？ BmC
5． I will send you my photo first. BmC
我将先把我的照片发给你。
BmC
BmC
第十六法 你听不见，我才嘟给你听的啊BmC
（打电话）
1. I just want to hear your voice. Could you speak to me a little bit? BmC
我特别想听听你的声音，你能满足我这个小小的心愿吗? BmC
2. Don’t worry. Just a short while.BmC
别担心。只和你聊一两句就可以了。 BmC
3. Shall I make the phone call to you or you phone over to me? My telephone number is XXXXXXX. BmC
我给你打过去还是你给我打过来?，我的电话号码是：XXXXXXXX。 BmC
4. Thank you for trusting me. I’ll call you immediately. BmC
谢谢你的信任，我立刻给你打过去。 BmC
5. Forget it. Let’s continue our online talk. (Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.) BmC
没关系的，我只是说说而已。让我们接着在网上聊下去。（一颗红心两种准备）
BmC
BmC
第十七法 从今天开始，我会一直陪着你BmC
（学习计划）
1. I wonder if we could together make a plan to study English? BmC
不知你是否同意，我想和你制定一个学习英语的计划。 BmC
2. Let's study English and make progress together. BmC
让我们一起学习英语，共同进步。 BmC
3. In order to push myself to use English, I will send you an English E-mail daily. BmC
为了调动运用英语的积极性，我将每天都给你用英文写个邮件。 BmC
4．I’ll be with you learning English from now on. Let’s write to each other every day! BmC
从今天开始，我会一直陪着你学习英语，每天通信吧。 BmC
5. In my opinion, “Two heads are better than one” applies to our English learning. BmC
我觉得“1+1>2”同样适用于我们的英语学习。
BmC
BmC
第十八法 俺轻轻地走啦，不带走一片云彩BmC
（告别)
1． It's almost eleven o'clock . BmC
快十一点了。 BmC
2． I am afraid I can’t stay any longer. BmC
我恐怕不能再久留了。 BmC
3． I'll always remember our pleasant talk today. BmC
你走后我会怀念这次愉快的谈话。 BmC
4． I hope I can see you again. / Let’s keep in touch. BmC
我希望我能再见到你/让我们保持联系。 BmC
5． Good night and have a good sleep. BmC
晚安，睡个好觉。
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